As you know or don’t, I’m living on a sailing boat somewhere at the Atlantic Ocean.

I’m not used to this life, I never sailed, never been on a boat at the ocean, never made a knot in a rope, never cooked under a angel of 25 degrees but I’m not seasick and i’m learning.  Trust me girls… I’m good

And please don’t mention the language what they are using in this nautical world. Suddenly a rope is a line, left is port, right is starboard, a kitchen is a galley and that is just the top of the iceberg. I can tell you it’s not so easy and especially for a woman like me who lived her whole life in a city.
For my man I’m still a spoiled city woman who thinks that milk comes from the supermarket and not from a cow…. 

But do you know that this sailing world is really a men’s world. Ok ok, I have a lot of attention from those guys but sometimes I really need to talk with women. I want to talk sometimes about something different then boats, weather, sails, navigation equipment and the storms everybody was in. When you listen to those “storm” stories, there must at least ten storms a day  

                                                    I will give you an example where I have to listen to. 

One of them was telling the next  story: 

The magnetic poles are showing strong signs of switching. About every half a million years, the magnetic poles would switched position. It seems that we are overdue since the last switch is about half a million years ago. The past century, the magnetic strength had dropped by 5%. 

The conversation between the sailors: 

                                                                                                     One of them is yelling : “Oh my god!! Do you know what that means?” 

The rest is looking at him with eyes like, please, please tell me more…” 

“Then all the penguins will go to the North pole and the Polar bears  to the South pole.” 

You will expect that they will come to their sense and talk normally again,  but no..  another is continuing:  

“ Ohhh.. you mean the big famous Penguin and Polar bear trek? Yeah,  I heard a story about a Sailor who was sailing around the Equator  and in the middle of the night, he suddenly heard a strange sound around his boat.. starting very calm but in  10 minutes it was a enormous tumult. The sound was so terrible that he has to use earplugs not to become crazy.  Everywhere there was something bumping to his boat. He took his flashlight and saw something black and white in the water, what was moving very fast. When the sun came up there were thousands of totally disoriented penguins around him. It was like or they didn’t know where to go. They were swiming in circles, fighting with each other and a few hundred were attacking the boat. On one moment a emperor penguin hopped on the boat, waddled to the helm, looked at the compass and started to dance. For the speechless sailor it was or he was watching Happy Feet When the penguin ended his dance, he jumped back in the sea and from one on the other moment the whole bunch started to swim to the North. . The enormous noise changed in a amazing and impressive song. Many years later this song ” It’s a beautiful day” became famous by Queen ”  

After so much nonsense you would think that nobody is listening to that guy, but again no!
They were totally out of there mind, crying from laughing an in state of:  ”We want more!!!”
I just want to asked or we could talk about shoes and the latest fashion but I realized, that this was not the right moment. And the story went on….  

“ There was just a few days ago an article in the Times about a iceberg  with the size of Luxembourg that has split off from the Antarctic continent.  All Gore thinks this is “Global Warming” but it’s typically a sign of the start of the big Penguin and Polar bear trek.  But do you know that those penguins can become very aggressive? When they swimming around Bermuda they become totally crazy.. It has something to do with the change of the temperature. On that moment they are really on the edge of a  nervous brake down, but after a while they make a formation of a big triangle and start to meditate. The Penguins are calming down but the power what they put in the universe can disturb all radar signals and destroys electronic equipment for years…” 

Of course…… I’m  just expecting a story about Barak Obama and that he is strongly related to a old famous Penguin family, but somebody have to mention something about Polar bears.….

Do you know that  Polar Bears during the trek lose all their hairs?  When they reach the Canarian Islands they’re totally bold. Normally the bold Polar bears can stand the radiation of the Sun very good but now they expect with the holes in the ozone layer that they get totally sun burned. They will look like a Englishmen after a day at the beach.  But there will be another problem: All those hairs are floating in big clouds in the ocean.  Can you imagine when a tanker or a big containership is driving true a cloud of lost polar bear hairs, what can happen?  The rudder and the propeller can be stocked, just like that. The strength of polar bear hair is more then steel. Then those ships are really easy victims  for pirates… or when the hairs will reach those nice and fancy beaches ? can you imagine……

This is enough!!!!!! I can’t stand it anymore and I’m using my strongest weapon.

“Hey guys, let’s talk about sex…”